Croissant

WARNING: Due to the nature of this post, I am obliged to inform you that there is some very bad language towards the end.  You have been warned!

For the vast majority of my life, I was completely adverse to the concept of a comedy album.  Music was serious, crafted expertly by anguished young men and women who poured their heart into every note.  Now I am approaching 30, I’m actually partial to certain comedy acts, most notably the fantastically funny Flight of the Conchords.  They manage to craft frighteningly accurate pastiches of classic songs, as well as being talented tunesmiths in their own right.  I would definitely rate their eponymous debut album as the greatest comedy album of all time.  That was until I heard the new king of comedy, Yeezus himself.

Kanye West is a man I have admired for many years...  I bet you almost believed me then, didn’t you?!  No, in all seriousness, I loathe the man, and as such have never had much time for his music.  For me, his unrelenting self confidence and arrogance is the antipathy of everything I hate about his brand of rap music.  However, after being aggressively and constantly reminded by the music press that this artist actually lives up to the hype (admittedly, most of which is created by Kanye West himself), I thought I had better check out what I was missing.  I just wasn’t expecting it to be so funny.

Now, speaking as someone who has only started to dip into the career of West on album six, I can’t be sure whether he is either cleverly sending up the whole rap genre, or genuinely believes that the lyrics he’s “spitting” are the greatest sentiments ever applied to paper and reiterated, lazily, onto tape.  Judging by his public persona, I am assuming it would be the latter option.  However, if he is in it for laughs, he is a very clever man indeed.  The lyrics on Yeezus (yes, that’s the actual title) are delivered with such cringe worthy conviction, and sit so high in the mix, I couldn’t help but sit up and take note when I listened through for the first time.  And I couldn’t help but laugh.  Below I have written a few sample lyrics for your pleasure.  If you haven’t heard the album, or anything by Kanye West, try to imagine each line being delivered with almost laughable amounts of anger and passion, and hopefully you’ll come around to my thinking: that Kanye is the most unwittingly funny artist creating music today.

“I am a God,

So hurry up with my damn massage,

I’m in a French-ass restaurant,

Hurry up with my damn croissants” (from I Am A God)

“When I park my Range Rover,

Slightly scratch your Corolla,

Okay, I smashed your Corolla” (from Hold My Liquor)

“Black girl sippin’ white wine,

Put my fist in her like a civil rights sign” (from I’m In It)

“I’m a rap-lic priest,

Getting head by the nuns” (from I’m In It)

“This is the greatest shit in the club,

Since ‘In Da Club’” (from Send It Up)

I just wanted to assure you that this is by no means a positive review for this album.  It is terrible, it just really made me laugh.  I hope you’ve read this far before rushing out and buying it.  If not, please accept my heartfelt apology.